I started again after experiencing a miracle back in 2013. Connection to an inner light that shines brighter than the sun. I witnessed the inner workings of an atom from the perspective of the 1s orbital with four electrons two on either side of a central sphere of golden light. Science of the beginning of the universe. The SUSY inversion event and not the big bang resulted in alpha particle emission from a liquid fluid of helium a Bose Einstein condensate. This is my own understanding of the universe and its beginning. If you start again how would you begin?