My healing journey

I thought it may be useful to share my own personal healing journey or at least some of the highs and lows to reveal why I now have chosen this road and how I have learned to navigate the complexities of life given my set of circumstances.

I was the youngest of three children and grew up in Temuka (small town New Zealand). I caught bugs and beetles, frogs and lizards as a child. I would bring them inside and make them my pets. My father would do home kill and I would help by holding the bowl to collect the organs. So I had a strong connection to the land and biology as a child and the child in me still loves nature and understanding how it works has been my life's work. I was small for my age and this resulted in a number of unsavory events at school. Being different, meant I spent time alone and learned to observe the world through a lens of separation and without interaction.

When I was 11 my mother died, I did not understand why at the time but this was a complicated series of events including mental health issues that were induced by a pharmaceutical medication to prevent pregnancy, that took 36 years to find out the reason and she was 36 at the time of her death. The consequences of that event would have considerable repercussions later in life. Her death in 1983 when I was 11 changed the direction of my life. I walled off that pain in order to prevent that loss from impacting my health, as my health suffered from her death and I was unable to walk as the trauma resulted in my body developing psoriatic arthritis in my hips and knees. Unable to walk without pain for six months and taking Disprins daily to manage the pain I lay on the sofa at home watching TV and was not engaged with school or friends. I slowly got back up on my feet and pushed through the pain and started to walk and re-engage in living and shut out the pain to survive. So I became very self reliant and this adversity at a young age has allowed me to take the knocks and pick myself back up again, learning more about my self and developing resilience in this process. During this time there were many doctor's visits and hospital stays trying to determine what was wrong with me and they identified I had a gene called HLA B27  that predisposes me to a whole range of autoimmune conditions. My fate you would say is sealed but I now disagree.

Self belief and following your passion has also been an important part of my journey. I enjoyed science at school and art so had both a creative side and a logical thinking side to my mind. I did not excel at school because the home environment was not exactly ideal for academic pursuit. There were many challenges and I saw education as a way out, to give me access to a new world, one where I could choose my own path forward.

I ended up doing science at University and getting a double degree in Plant and Microbial Sciences and Biochemistry and then went on to do a MSc in Molecular Genetics both degrees at Canterbury University in Christchurch. I then took a year off taught hip hop dancing and choreography for the South Island Cultural Fashion Awards. Then six months working on a construction site. Whilst at work someone showed me a PhD position advertised in the paper up in Wellington, which I applied for and was offered. I started that back in 1996 and finished in 2001. I was awarded a PhD in Biochemistry from Victoria University of Wellington.

The GRIF scholarship for my PhD was very focused on a commercial outcome. The PhD led on to a six month contract at Industrial Research limited. This work was successful and I was offered a full-time position as a research scientist. Back in 1999 on Guy Fawkes night I meet my wife to be. We went on a holiday driving around the North Island together and this was the first time that my autoimmune system started to play up again and I developed iritis an inflammatory eye condition. It is amazing how stress manifests as disease in my body.

This resulted in yearly cases of iritis over the next 12 years. All that ended in 2013. The set of circumstances that resulted in my healing are both complex and very simple. Having a decade of education at university and 10 years doing research into wound healing and regenerative medicine put me in a position to start my research in Manuka honey. I had already had developed a wound care production process for Mesynthes now Aroa Biosurgery. I was asked to identify the anti-inflammatory compounds present in Manuka honey. So I started like I usually do from the point of ignorance and applying my logical thinking to understand how Manuka honey works.

This was very challenging and progress was slow due to the complexity of the product. After several years we had made some discoveries and started seeing things that did not make sense and seemed to be refuting some fundamental ideas currently being held in biology, including that radicals are bad for us.

I started unlearning and trying to see other ideas and explore different concepts to see if this made sense. Nothing was making sense anymore so I decided I needed to start again and develop a new model that would align with my observations and what the science was showing me. This new model is now what I use as part of my quantum biology technology platform and unified field theory based on SUSY inversion.

Coming up with this model resulted in a spiritual healing and it was triggered by a number of factors. I was about to turn 42 and my daughter was 11. This reminded me of when I was 11 and the loss of my mother to suicide. The Manuka honey that I was using for my own health and well-being was giving me more energy to develop this new model and I wanted to heal the pain that I was still carrying from my mother's loss. I had also been introduced to the Catholic faith by my wife and attended 10 years of Church before deciding to get Baptized with my youngest son in 2010. During that 10 years I was learning how to integrate science and religion into a model so that they can be supportive of each other rather than combative. I was looking for inner peace. What I experienced was super natural and resulted in joining the dots and changing the current science model into a new model that supports the concept of God from a scientific perspective and this model provides an explanation for the universe and the cosmological constants we have in our universe today. Crazy as this all sounds it is the bridge between the physical world seen and the imagined world that we create based on our understanding. This is now what my beliefs are based on and have resulted in the inner spiritual experience and healing that I received which has resulted in no longer getting iritis. So the consequences have been positive from my point of view.

I tried to explain this experience to work as well as with family as it was the most profound experience I have ever had. However, as it was an internal journey no one could experience or understand what I was saying. From the perspective of work and family I was now considered unwell and mentally ill. This started a new part of self-healing, I now remembered so much and was able to remember my childhood and able to remember the pain and heal that pain. I was however considered unwell by the medical profession, labelled bipolar and given lithium. This drug is very crude and its mechanism of action was unknown. I did some research and identified its mode of action and then decided because of its narrow therapeutic window as well as its side effects of weight gain I did not want to take it anymore so I stopped. 

I also developed my own product to restore the functional subconscious minds biochemistry in order to restore my wellness. I was then placed on Respiradone and Valproate and continued my research in brain biochemistry in order to understand how these drugs that I was taking worked or failed to work. Not knowing how a drug works and not having a logical model means the drugs are ineffective and they have many side effects including increased risk of suicide. Not wanting to repeat my mothers choices I used my Biochemistry knowledge to research and develop my model of the brain based on physics. Then slowly get off the pharmaceutical medications and use my own product that supports restoring my mental well-being. Once I got off the medications, I was still working as a research scientist and developing a new model that would explain how I experienced what I did and put a new spin on mental well-being. The inability to explain these new ideas and concepts within the framework of a research organisation meant my peers were always on alert for when I started to become what they considered too happy or creative. This meant I could not share openly and this provided difficulties for myself and others around me. My successes as a research scientist were being held back in this environment so I continued exploring my ideas and my model using thought experiments. 

After another misunderstanding with peers I was again asked to leave and be evaluated once again. I was again diagnosed with bipolar and I  asked for a second opinion and was told that I could no longer work as it was making me unwell. So I had to walk away from a job I loved and was told to spend some time with my family. Having time and space to heal is important and having an environment that is supportive of self exploration and self healing is needed to restore health and mental well-being and enabling integration back into society. I took a year away from family to reconnect with myself develop my new scientific model that mergers spirituality and science as well as explains the subconscious minds biochemical mode of action and how memories are stored in structure and the role of physics in biology. This has been a intellectual process and one that has resulted in my healing. Developing a greater understanding of my biology based on physics is an emerging field of research called quantum biology. This process has resulted in my spiritual well-being and the creation of a product OH BEE HAVE that I hope will also help you restore. The first step is often the hardest but well worth the effort. When the doors open and you see the light you have found what you are looking for and there is no need to do more or try to be more than you already are. Learning to be has been a great gift. Share you gifts and you will restore your well-being.